@ 2:52 AM
That day...after getting back my horrid cf results...this thought which has been looming in my head since year one of poly year 1 came at me real strong...
"What do I really wanna be when I grow up.."
I know definitely banking has never been in my interest ever since I took some accounts module. But if i'm not interested in banking than what am I actually interested in?
I'm staying put in banking because I want to get that diploma and not waste 3 years of my poly life. I'm really trying very hard and have been draggin myself along to complete this course. Its really painful sometimes seeing all the sub-standard grades and knowing that this mediocre results could actually be a big hinder to my next step in life. This possible next step could actually be something that I'm very interested in.
Sometimes I'm just quite frustrated over my lack of ambitions. I mean its good to be simple and enjoy every of life's little aspects, but its certainly never good to not know what you are heading for in life.
I seriously wanna get into a university, studying something I like and grow up working with it. But for now, it seems so impossible...
And looking at each of my friends getting into uni or talking about uni, its real hard listening to them sometimes.
Maybe my childhood is just dented, which explains my lack of ambition...
Sorry if u guys felt weird reading this post about me...I gotta admit it is really damn mature...
I'm gonna pray so hard about this...
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